pattern-matching with nature

if i can’t figure something out, i try to recall where i’ve seen that shape of energy movement in nature. if i can’t find it (leaving room for error, or sugar-fog) i think that perhaps it is ‘man-made’ and therefore not in order. strange? but that’s how my mind works.

which is what i’m doing now. trying to match this:
i am working on creating a small little course putting forward what i’ve learned about music, singing, recording, touring, the world, life, etc.

but as soon as i get past the word ‘touring’ the whole thing slithers out of my fingers. it crosses several panes of glass and settles into a shape i do not recognize. i figure i must be forcing something, then. my left brain interfering with a greater ‘order’. so i try to reduce it to as specific a topic as i can, forget any extrapolations to the greater view. then next thing that happens is i’m saying why this tiny thing is connected to the universe. and i’ve lost track again. overshot the trajectory.  like a simultaneously expanding and contracting universe that i can’t get clear on.
option 1: keep trying from different angles until i know it (possibly) inside out
option 2: let it be and trust clarity will come
option 3: forget whole idea since it’s not flowing

do you recognize this? how do you deal with it?

pattern-matching with nature

if i can’t figure something out, i try to recall where i’ve seen that shape of energy movement in nature. if i can’t find it (leaving room for error, or sugar-fog) i think that perhaps it is ‘man-made’ and therefore not in order. strange? but that’s how my mind works.

which is what i’m doing now. trying to match this:
i am working on creating a small little course putting forward what i’ve learned about music, singing, recording, touring, the world, life, etc.

but as soon as i get past the word ‘touring’ the whole thing slithers out of my fingers. it crosses several panes of glass and settles into a shape i do not recognize. i figure i must be forcing something, then. my left brain interfering with a greater ‘order’. so i try to reduce it to as specific a topic as i can, forget any extrapolations to the greater view. then next thing that happens is i’m saying why this tiny thing is connected to the universe. and i’ve lost track again. overshot the trajectory.  like a simultaneously expanding and contracting universe that i can’t get clear on.
option 1: keep trying from different angles until i know it (possibly) inside out
option 2: let it be and trust clarity will come
option 3: forget whole idea since it’s not flowing

do you recognize this? how do you deal with it?

where smoke becomes flames.

i saw the most amazing video about three years ago. it was so good and so important that i couldn’t mention it. no one else did either. didn’t go viral. i don’t know why i didn’t fan it into flames by sharing.

last night i went online and googled ‘best-selling things to make money’. EVERYTHING is postured to making money.  EVERYONE from rich to poor pouring the oxygen of desire onto whatever might turn into money. Not buying for the object or item, buying it for the profit beyond. not buying for the beauty of the software, but looking beyond for the prize. i can’t quite find the words but it is like everyone is focused on something that never stops. never is finished never is done. what if we had all we needed and could shut down the corner store and send the employees home where they had all they needed, too.  are we advanced enough to just stand within the moment taking in and giving off the pleasure of it.

when someone sits calmly and IS oxygen to the flame of energy we call ‘money’ … what kind of person or situation is this. has anyone seen this? tell me.

how different minds work

less (relaxing)

more (less relaxing)

reductive (removes clutter)

adductive (may or may not cause paralysis)

amazement (like coffee)

judgement (like spiky sludge)

entitled (extremely common, modern disease)

humble (opposite of ‘entitled’)

true humility (as above)

anxiety

i caught it in the net of my awareness like the yellow finch. it stayed calm. i held the net carefully, not to damage any feathers, to let it catch its breath, do WHATEVER it had to do, i knew not what.

piss-poor

murmurings of my father as he watched the rain from the kitchen. the same window where we watched a yellow finch the day he died.

day one of my blog

the needles, the forest floor
the iron filings cross and line up
the forest floor
the open fields
ruff and flatten
the matted hair, the deserted nest
last years home, not a peep
the rhythm of a life, all life,
whirling, whipping, going still
all of us, all of life revolving in our perfect ways
looking up

yes, you are right
we revolve around our eyes
our eyes don’t change
the eye of the spiral

our clothes slide in and out
our hair flies out and in
our mouths open and close
our brows arc, dive
the iron filings cross and line up
but our eyes don’t change
the eye of the spiral

looking up
as the seasons press past
as birth and death circle

looking up
saying i love you god
at least one of them.

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